A friend of mine who is gay sent me a letter anonymously telling me about his struggles being gay. His life is difficult because of his feelings towards the same sex. Despite this he managed to get married to a woman and he ignores his feelings for the same sex and tries to live life as a good Muslim. He does not act on his urges and feels that Allah will forgive him for whatever feelings he has in his heart.
Now, I presume God knew what he was doing when he made people gay. Clearly this guy did not choose to be gay, and clearly none of us choose to be straight. If Islam (and Christianity and Judaism) are from God, why would God do such a cruel thing of making people gay and then making them suffer by saying they cannot act on their feelings. If homosexuality is a private matter and does not hurt anyone, why does God need to forbid it. If its so horrible, why are people born this way? Rather it’s a natural thing that among the variety of people, sometimes people are born gay. Sometimes people are even born with both male and female sexual organs. It happens. These people deserve to live happy lives just like us straight people do.
As far as we know there is no way to cure ‘gayness’. No known method – shock treatment or otherwise seems to work.
The fact that the American Psychological Manual DSM-IV used to classify it as a mental disorder but no longer shows that we have learned from our errors. You cant pick and choose and say “look it was a disorder” but ignore the fact that science makes progress over time and we know better now.
Homosexual is a disorder. To make it order, just ask Jesus to help. He paid the prise for our disorders and faults. Ask Him by accepting our faults and disorders, is the right approach.
I’m the one who wrote this letter. A few notes. I know, from my research, that there are many underlying causes for it. Thus there cannot be one ‘solution’. Suffice to say I’m not crazy. And I certainly don’t believe I was born this way. There’s no basis for that or to the contrary. However, science seems to lean more towards the latter. And for me personally there are underlying causes that I am trying to unravel.
As for your question regarding why. In Islam, we believe we are all tested one way or another. This is simply a test. Just as in life, we need to work for things we want. You could put this same argument for disabilities and bad things that happen in the world. However, our shortcomings, just as all ‘evil’ or bad things in this world, have a way of normalizing. For instance, a blind person has other senses heightened. In Islam, we believe that nothing is inherently evil. This test has made me a stronger person in many ways. Stronger believer, more conscious parent etc.
I know it seems counter-intuitive that one would be closer to a religion that seemingly depicts them in a negative light. To the contrary though, it depicts those that submit their own will and desires for the greater good to a higher standard. Islam makes a clear distinction between action and thought. The whole point of the religion is to put our beliefs into action. This is just one manifestation of it.
And what makes someone that has inappropriate desires, such as a pedophile or a kleptomaniac any different?
And what do you know about the toll same-sex experiences can take on a person? I know in my deepest core that being with another guy is just wrong. It feels wrong.
But at the end of the day, I choose to live this way. Just like I could choose to live that lifestyle. It’s MY choice. I will make it based on my life, my values and my experiences.
Hello, there I really wanted to reply to the person above me and im not sure this site will let me, but i wanted to ask “abdullah” when he realized he was gay or had feelings towards men.
Abdullah, I feel really sorry for you. What you are doing is “wasting” your life pretending to be something you are not. You are gay. You were born gay. It was what God intended. And there is nothing you or anyone else can do about that. It is not wrong and it is nothing to be ashamed of. There are so many gay people who are out living happy lives in same sex marriages, etc. It is a wonderful thing. Something to be celebrated.
You are under the spell of Islam. You have been brainwashed into believing being gay is wrong. And that God will punish you if you act on your desires. That is so wrong and sad. You will never be truly happy. And you could have experienced that happiness, if you had just allowed yourself. Instead, of lying to yourself and everyone else around you. Dont forgot “all knowing” Allah can read your thoughts. And if you think (or dream even) of men in a sexual manner, will not Allah not punish you? Allah certainly says he is not pleased with people who minds drift when praying. It is completely ridiculous.
It saddens me that people will go through life, denying themselves of what is a wonderful thing just because of what happens to be written in a book, in this case, the quran. The quran is full of mistakes and abrogations. It is not infallible. The fact that you choose to ignore all that and excuse the fact that it was God that actually made you this way, is beyond tragic.
agreed, i dont believe in god but agreed