We often hear that ex-Muslims leave Islam for emotional reasons. I want to challenge that. I’ve been having a back and forth on TikTok with a Muslim convert with a large following who has been engaging with a few ex-Muslims. 

Cactusboi whose real name is Paul made a video sharing that he became Muslim after suffering from some issues. I responded to this video about this pattern that I’ve noticed – how a large number of prominent Muslim converts appear to have converted due to a crisis in their life namely Hamza Yusuf, Cat Stevens, Asadullah Ali, and even Mustafa Omar on the dean show and not because of a rational calculation based on evidence.

UPDATE: CactusBoi left Islam after I made this video.

Instead of relying on TikTok, I have decided it was worth making a blog post here to discuss all of his points at length. Here is the response.

“Okay. Do you have a problem with people being happy?”

No! However, I do have a problem with the truth claims you are making. I have a problem with Muslims or anyone else claiming that everyone else is going to hell and that we are inferior. Read what the Quran says about disbelievers and that worst of all if you had your way none of us would be able to leave Islam openly.

You see the beautiful thing about Christianity today is that compared to Islam there’s no apostasy law. You left it and became Muslim and what happened to you? Nothing, right? This is not the case for people who leave Islam. Many of us don’t just get personal and family abuse, we also have to leave our wives, get cut off from seeing our kids. In Muslim countries, lose our inheritance from our parents since a disbeliever doesn’t inherit from a believer and so on.

In a nutshell, being an apostate is worse than being a second-class citizen. In a Muslim country rarely can you openly state that you are atheist. Try it in a Christian majority country and nothing will happen. The Muslim world is so far behind in its human rights record that we have to keep talking about this until it changes.

At the end of the day, those people and I are happy where we are. We’re not going to change that for you. I don’t care what you are. What I care about is how you treat others. If your Islam does not prevent you from treating others badly and you aren’t the type of Muslim that wants the whole world to convert to Islam and believe in sharia law which includes death to gays and apostates is superior, then I congratulate you.

If you on the other hand think that in an ideal Islamic state I should be silenced, that gay should not be allowed to express their love, or that women should get half the inheritance of their brothers, I do want you to change. If we have to drag Islam kicking and screaming into the 21st century to get in line with enlightenment values then we will do that.

In the UK you had large numbers of Muslims pulling their kids out of school because they didn’t agree with gay rights. The same people who cry Islamophobia don’t wish the same thing for gays. How does that make sense? If you wish to be treated fairly no matter what your religion, surely you would give the same to all those who fall into other groups or other sexualities I made a video called “Ten strange rulings in Islam”, where I highlighted how Islam doesn’t allow you to adopt and some other strange things.

Mufti Abu Layth responded to my point stating this is not the case in his opinion and he responded to each one of them. When asked by some of my viewers if I would respond to him I simply said if this is his Islam. Why would I? I wish everyone followed Islam as he does and that’s the key to me.

As a humanist, I respect your right to be whatever religion you want but I expect that you will give us the same dignity back to disbelieve and to express ourselves.

“And the idea that you think somebody would be happier or better outside of a religion is absolute nonsense.”

Hell yes! Dude, I am so much happier without all of those dumb Islamic rules that make no sense. Tell me about the sacred months. Do you even know when they are? The Quran mentions there’s no fighting in them. But that’s one example. Here’s another one, tell me why you can marry your cousin, which has health risks yet you can’t marry your foster sister who has zero genetic relation to you? (Foster sister here means someone that’s suckled from the same woman, something that none of us even does nowadays.)

What about marrying your adopted son’s ex-wife? Listen to the following revelation and see if this is something god would send to humanity. The Quran states in chapter 33 verse 37 “We married her to you in order that did not be upon the believers any discomfort concerning the wives of the adopted sons when they no longer have need of them and ever is the command of Allah accomplished”

Just think about this. God is saying when your adopted sons no longer need the wives we want to make sure you know you can marry them. So there wouldn’t be any problem. Let that sink in. Why would you want to marry your adopted son’s ex-wife? Why is this so important to clarify this to all the believers. Simple, because Muhammad wanted to have Zaynab. There’s no other better explanation for it.

Can you think of a single Muslim who married the adopted son’s ex-wife? Allah and his infinite wisdom thought it was important enough to mention that so that in case any Muslim wanted to marry their adopted son’s ex-wife they could do so? Dude that rule doesn’t apply to anyone on earth except Muhammad who had the hearts for Zaynab. What a joke! And then men can’t wear gold or silk. We can’t eat pork, but we can eat goat and sheep and just about everything else.

Tell me why I have to avoid interest when that is the most efficient model for buying a home and for many other lending agreements. I personally suffered without a home for many years because of this dumb rule. Now I’m so much better off after making the decision to buy. Not just me but my whole family.

“Being an atheist and an agnostic doesn’t do anything for anybody. I can tell you that because I was both.”

Yes, it does. Islam fills your life with all this crap that you have to workaround. Atheism is a blank slate. A model where you rule your own life, where you get to choose what decisions you want to make for yourself not based on what some man in the 7th century supposedly said. A man who had no clue what would happen after he died. He couldn’t even leave guidance on who would be the next leader. He didn’t even compile the Quran into a book. This is the man you claim spoke to god?

I’ve been heavily invested on the theist side as well. This isn’t even an argument it’s just a personal appeal just like your video about all the problems you had in your life and then you became Muslim.

“….It doesn’t give me a sense of security. It doesn’t give me a sense of anything…”

Islam also gives a sense of security to those who blow themselves up thinking that they’re going to be surrounded by young ladies with big boobs as promised in the Quran. Is that necessarily a good thing? Is it a good thing that you sacrifice all of the good things in your life for something that isn’t going to come? No, it’s not. It’s just a false sense of security.

Do you know what security I have now? I have a home for my kids. I have life insurance large enough to cover most of the major things in case I die. I made sure that my family would be taken care of. That’s my security, all of which is completely haram in Islam.

So in Islam, it’s better to leave your kids wanting and homeless and with no money, except for the little bit of money, you saved rather than paying 100 bucks a month for insurance. You’re telling me this way of life gives you security?

Tell me, what does Islam say about your non-Muslim family members, Paul? Your parents, sisters, brothers all of them going to hell right? Does that give you a sense of security? Or is it an anxiety-inducing to think that they will be tortured for eternity while you can’t even give them a drop of water like the Quran says? Is this security? Well-being? 

Even if you put aside your family, the Islamic sermons constantly preaching fear of Allah, fear of hell punishment in the grave, ten thousand the other day of judgment, does that give you security, peace in your life? Or is it a pang of constant guilt about not doing enough? Tell me, Paul.

“I mean regardless if you’re an ex-Christian, ex-Muslim, you all find your way back to faith regardless. I mean let’s take you and infidel noodle for example. You guys will spend your whole lives trying to refute Muslim content only to bring more people to Islam. Alhamdulillah! You help out a lot”.

I would love to see the evidence for this. Regarding the rise of atheism even in Muslim majority countries, Here is a quote from Dr. Zakir Naik’s response to  Yasir Qadhi on this topic.

“As far as the rise of atheism rising in the western country, I disagree with you. It is not only western countries. It is throughout the world. It is rising everywhere in the world, including gulf countries. You know where I considered that the gulf countries especially Saudi Arabia is the heart of Tawheed. I was shocked it was in 2014 they asked me to give a lecture on “Atheism: does god exist?” I was shocked. In Saudi Arabia, in Jamatul Emaan  where I consider one of one of the best Islamic universities to give a talk on atheism. And then I realized that the people told me that even in the Gulf countries.

Leave aside western countries, leave aside the UK, leave aside America, India even there there are and previously according to me when a person from Saudi Arabia or from the gulf countries went to America or went to a western country the chances that you know they would deviate from the Deen would be maybe one or two percent that’s it. But nowadays, the chances are more than 25 percent In Muslim countries on top of it Atheism is spreading like a wildfire across the world”

And you are telling me that we are bringing people to Islam? Have you seen my testimonies list, Paul? Some of us spend our lives doing this because we care. We don’t want to let Islamic preachers get away with spreading their filth without being called out for it.

Noman Ali khan made an entire video justifying why Quran 4:34 on wife-beating is justified Muhammad Hijab too I responded to both of them because someone has to. These guys get full-time income and benefits from AIRA, Sapient, Yaqeen, Bayyinah, etc. millions of dollars of support and donations but I see this as a David versus Goliath battle. We will persist. Ex-Muslims are rising despite what you guys think we will not be silent. We will continue to talk about these things because someone has to. God chose me for this mission I guess. Since if I never would have converted to Sunni Islam I wouldn’t have had the perspective I have today. Thank you, Allah.

“I can read you people like a book. If you were on a plane and it was about to crash, you’d be like “god help me”, and then if it lands safely you’ll go “who’s god?”

Seriously? This is such a lame trope The reason why someone cries out to God when in a situation like that is because they are behaving irrationally. There is nothing logical about crying out to God to save you because

First, God doesn’t save those who pray to him. If the plane is going to crash, it’ll crash anyway. The proof for this is simple. Would you agree that according to you almost everyone atheist included cries out to god when a plane crashes? If so, how come those planes still crash?

Also, if God really did save people who prayed shouldn’t we see this in the data. Insurance companies perform the most sophisticated calculations on risk The highest statisticians also known as actuarial scientists will perform big data calculations on who is most at risk of dying. 

Guess what the data shows. For drivers, young men are the riskiest. They get in more accidents. They take more risks. For life insurance, smokers are the riskiest. They tend to die a lot. It’s all there in the data. So if this is true, there should be a belief in Allah discount.

Praying actually does anything for you in a plane crash other than making you feel better. A sort of self-delusion. Kind of like taking a few pills to numb the pain without really dealing with that issue or talking to your imaginary friend Allah

That’s the end of my response.

Paul, I think you’re a smart guy and you have a head on your shoulders. You became a bit of a celebrity like Daud Kim after converting to Islam and people love you. But don’t misguide people. Look into the evidence against Islam. The Deen of Allah is bad for our world.

It is the cause of so much misery and suffering. Terrorist attacks inspired by Islam repeatedly, women treated miserably because of polygamy and because of terrible divorce and inheritance laws. You can do better. Humanism is the best thing we have. Much better than these medieval barbaric religions.

This is your friendly ex-Muslim signing out